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Amir Levine

Attached

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Is there a science to love?
In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now.
Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.
In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who…

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316 printed pages
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Impressions

  • MissLaiLaishared an impression5 years ago
    👍Worth reading
    💡Learnt A Lot
    🎯Worthwhile

    It sheds some light on individuals behaviour when it comes to personal/romantic relationships. It provides the framework to identify the type of attachment person you or your partner are, therefore allowing you to deal with situations faced during interactions with our partners. A good book in understanding ourselves.

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  • Эльзаshared an impressionlast year
    👍Worth reading
    🔮Hidden Depths
    💡Learnt A Lot
    🎯Worthwhile

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    Quotes

    • forgetenothas quoted5 years ago
      Does this mean that in order to be happy in a relationship we need to be joined with our partner at the hip or give up other aspects of our life such as our careers or friends? Paradoxically, the opposite is true! It turns out that the ability to step into the world on our own often stems from the knowledge that there is someone beside us whom we can count on—and this is the “dependency paradox.” The logic of this paradox is hard to follow at first. How can we act more independent by being thoroughly dependent on someone else? If we had to describe the basic premise of adult attachment in a single sentence, it would be: If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, first find the right person to depend on and travel down it with them. Once you understand this, you’ve grasped the essence of attachment theory.
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    • Mariahas quoted8 months ago
      Your attachment needs are legitimate.
      • You shouldn’t feel bad for depending on the person you are closest to—it is part of your genetic makeup.
      • A relationship, from an attachment perspective, should make you feel more self-confident and give you peace of mind. If it doesn’t, this is a wake-up call!
      • And above all, remain true to your authentic self—playing games will only distance you from your ultimate goal of finding true happiness, be it with your current partner or with someone else.
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      • Mariahas quoted8 months ago
        In a true partnership, both partners view it as their responsibility to ensure the other’s emotional well-being.
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