After a lifetime of being bullied, Daelyn is broken beyond repair. She has tried to kill herself before, and is determined to get it right this time. Though her parents think they can protect her, she finds a Web site for «completers» that seems made just for her. She blogs on its forums, purging her harrowing history. At her private Catholic school, the only person who interacts with her is a boy named Santana. No matter how poorly she treats him, he just won’t leave her alone. And it’s too late for Daelyn to be letting people into her life . . . isn’t it?

In this harrowing, compelling novel, Julie Anne Peters shines a light on what might make a teenager want to kill herself, as well as how she might start to bring herself back from the edge. A discussion guide and resource list prepared by «bullycide» expert C. J. Bott are included in the back matter.

From School Library Journal

Grade 9 Up—Daelyn Rice has been bullied her entire life, whether it was for her past weight problem or because she currently does not talk and wears a neck brace. She has attempted suicide several times in several different ways and is now more determined than ever to end her life. Daelyn discovers a Web site called Through-the-Light, which is for suicide «completers.» There she communicates with others who share the same goal. The members share stories of bullying, molestation, etc., and encourage each other’s ultimate goal. Meanwhile, Daelyn meets a boy named Santana. She wants nothing to do with him; his presence and determination to draw her out of her shell only annoy her. Over time and as new information surfaces (he has cancer), however, she finds herself drawn to him. Will their connection be enough to make Daelyn realize that her life is worth living? Readers are left not knowing what she will do. This novel is disturbing in that the teen bluntly discusses her desire to kill herself with little to no emotion. She has a plan, and she is eager to carry it out. Also upsetting are the suicide methods that are explicitly detailed on Through-the-Light. However, Santana’s presence is welcome, as he softens the unsettling subject matter. This book is definitely worth the read, but for older, more seasoned teens.—Sarah K. Allen, Elko Middle School, Sandston, VA © Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

About the Author

I’m the author of sixteen going on seventeen books for young adults and children. My YA novel, Luna, the story of a transgender teen beginning her transition from male to female, was a National Book Award finalist and an American Library Association Best Books for Young Adults. (Thank you award committee members.) My other books about gender queer youth include Keeping You a Secret, Far from Xanadu, Between Mom and Jo, grl2grl: short fictions, and Rage: A Love Story to be published in September of 2009. I also have a book coming in January 2010 titled, By the Time You Read This, I’ll Be Dead. It’ll blow your mind.

I’m a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, Pen America, the Authors Guild, and the Colorado Authors’ League. I live with my long-suffering partner, Sherri Leggett, in Lakewood, Colorado. (We just celebrated our 35th anniversary.)

More information about me and my books can be found on my Web site: www.JulieAnnePeters.com

By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead