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Jan Geurtz

Addicted to love

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Jan Geurtz's famous classic Verslaafd aan liefde in English

In Addicted to Love, Jan Geurtz clearly demonstrates how our search for love and approval stems from a fundamental self-rejection. We try to compensate for this by seeking other people's appreciation. But this is counterproductive: it actually makes us more insecure and therefore increasingly dependent. This creates an addiction to love, approval and the security of a relationship. As a result, most romantic relationships eventually fail, or — perhaps even worse — are reduced to dreary co-existence with little room for growth and happiness.

With humour and practical examples, Jan Geurtz shows a way out of this vicious circle. Once we have let go of self-rejection, we find that our painful emotions, and also our sexual desires, are the gateway to a state of being that is completely free of restriction and dependence, and is filled with love and clarity — with or without a relationship.

Jan Geurtz has written several books on addictions, including the bestseller Quit Smoking in One Day. He studied remedial pedagogy, education sciences and philosophy of science, and is inspired by Buddhism.
GeneralSelf-HelpBody, Mind & Spirit
This book is currently unavailable
261 printed pages
Copyright owner
Ambo/Anthos B.V.
Original publication
2017
Publication year
2017
Publishers
Ambo|Anthos, Ambo/Anthos B.V.
Translator
Janet Taylor

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  • Yuliya Ivankovashared an impression9 months ago
    👍Worth reading

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    Quotes

    • EnigmaTrialshas quoted3 months ago
      garden for fear of the supposed snake in the house, we’re also alienated from ourselves, we daren’t come home to ourselves, for fear of our supposed worthlessness and inadequacy. These negative feelings are not really true, they don’t relate to what we are in reality, but only to what we’ve learned to think about ourselves
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      • EnigmaTrialshas quoted3 months ago
        The main character in this example actually makes three mistakes, each of which causes misery to an increasing extent. The first mistake is not recognising the piece of rope as a piece of rope. This is our ignorance of who or what we really are, our natural state of being. The second mistake is seeing a dangerous snake. This is our misconception that we are fundamentally flawed, stupid, weak or bad, and not good enough; in short: worthless. The third mistake is acting on the fear of the snake and running outside. This is running away from our negative feelings about ourselves, and looking for other people’s love and approval. This is the most serious mistake, because it makes it impossible to see through the other mistakes. As long as we keep looking for other people’s love and approval, we sustain the illusion that without that love we’re worthless, not good enough, which in turn reinforces the urge to look for that approval outside ourselves. It’s a vicious circle, and the main cause of all other counterproductive reflexes in our life. Like the person in India who lived the rest of her life in the
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        • EnigmaTrialshas quoted3 months ago
          authentic, altruistic motives.
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