Emily M. Danforth

The Miseducation of Cameron Post

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acaciaandroseshas quoted8 months ago
Irene asked me, “Do you think we’d get in trouble if anyone found out?”

“Yeah,” I said right away, because even though no one had ever told me, specifically, not to kiss a girl before, nobody had to. It was guys and girls who kissed—in our grade, on TV, in the movies, in the world; and that’s how it worked: guys and girls. Anything else was something weird. And even though I’d seen girls our age hold hands or walk arm in arm, and probably some of those girls had practiced kissing on each other, I knew that what we had done in the barn was something different.
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
I couldn’t have told you where the religion part ended and the psychology part picked up
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
but it was like her voice out of the past too, out of my past, her voice speaking to the me who I wasn’t anymore and never would be again.
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
Something didn’t just happen to him. He injured himself. Severely.”
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
And when you’re surrounded by a bunch of mostly strangers experiencing the same thing, unable to call home, tethered to routine on ranchland miles away from anybody who might have known you before, might have been able to recognize the real you if you told them you couldn’t remember who she was, it’s not really like being real at all
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
Hear, hear is right,” Jane said back. “It’s a boon for you all that my nature is to be a provider.”
“It’s the Christian thing to do,” I said
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
“She’s impersonating the mother from Carrie as a career choice,” Adam said.
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
every single time I looked out the windows too long, I felt like I was disappearing. And I looked out those windows for too long all the time
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
I thought not of Coley but of Irene Klauson, away at boarding school on her first night, hearing these same kinds of sounds, thinking, maybe, of me
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
In the embrace’s release I caught the scent again. Unmistakable. Marijuana. These homos were high as kites
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
never charged up the stairs to teach me the violent version of the very same lesson God’s Promise would be attempting to teach me soon
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
brushing up against me in a way that she didn’t even notice and in a way that made me notice nothing else
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
I just liked girls because I couldn’t help not to
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
But I didn’t have any of that faith, and I didn’t know where to get it, how to get it, or even if I wanted it right then
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
one where she was giddily unaware that she was just hours away from escaping a tragedy—and a lifetime away from a day that tragedy would find her anyway
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
Mr. Klauson knew that too; how he had to lift his calloused hand and take them away from me at eleven p.m. one hot night at the end of June—summer vacation, root beer and stolen bubble gum, stolen kisses—the very good life for a twelve-year-old, when I still had mostly everything figured out, and the stuff I didn’t know seemed like it would come easy enough if I could just wait for it, and anyway there’d always be Irene with me, waiting too
Erandi Cabrerahas quoted8 months ago
How I still had parents before that knock, and how I didn’t after.
Катерина Кудрявцеваhas quoted2 years ago
She started me in on the language of gay; she sometimes talked about how liking girls is political and revolutionary and counter-cultural, all these names and terms that I didn’t even know that I was supposed to know, and a bunch of other things I didn’t really understand and I’m not sure that she did then, either—though she’d never have let on. I hadn’t ever really thought about any of that stuff. I just liked girls because I couldn’t help not to. I’d certainly never considered that someday my feelings might grant me access to a community of like-minded women.
Катерина Кудрявцеваhas quoted2 years ago
Especially if the other half of said relationship went to school just shy of a thousand miles away from me in a city on the Pacific Ocean that she painted as chock-full of flannel-clad, Doc Martens–wearing, out and proud lesbians.
Катерина Кудрявцеваhas quoted2 years ago
She seemed even taller than I remembered, and she was now wearing her shiny black hair short and asymmetrical, with one side tucked behind her ear.
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