Open: An Autobiography

I click on the TV. Tonight, Round Two of the U.S. Open!

I lie on the bed

The finish line at the end of a career is no different from the finish line at the end of a match. The objective is to get within reach of that finish line, because then it gives off a magnetic force. When you’re close, you can feel that force pulling you, and you can use that force to get across. But just before you come within range, or just after, you feel another force, equally strong, pushing you away. It’s inexplicable, mystical, these twin forces, these contradictory energies, but they both exist.

Please let this be over.

I’m not ready for it to be over.

Standing at the bathroom mirror

Under the hot water I groan and scream.

I walk gingerly to the shower.

Given half a chance it wants to return to the beginning, because I’m so close to the end. But I can’t let it. Not yet.

AFTER BREAKFAST, after Stefanie and the kids have kissed me goodbye and run off to the museum

She reminds me she’s taking them to the Museum of Natural History.