P. G. Wodehouse

Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves

    Saloni Singhhas quoted6 years ago
    Sock your flock, and you're sunk.
    trihawkjonhas quoted3 months ago
    'What's all this?' he demanded.
    'What's all what?' riposted Stiffy with spirit, and I remember thinking that she rather had him there.
    'It's against regulations to talk to the prisoner, Miss.'
    'Oates,' said Stiffy, 'you're an ass.'
    This was profoundly true, but it seemed to annoy the officer. He resented the charge, and said so, and Stiffy said she didn't want any back chat from him.
    'You road company rozzers make me sick. I was only trying to cheer him up.'
    It seemed to me that the officer gave a bitter snort, and a moment later he revealed why he had done so.
    'It's me that wants cheering up,' he said morosely, 'I've just seen Sir Watkyn and he says he isn't pressing the charge.'
    'What!' I cried.
    'What!' yipped Stiffy.
    'That's what,' said the constable, and you could see that while there was sunshine above, there was none in his heart. I could sympathise with him, of course. Naturally nothing makes a member of the Force sicker than to have a criminal get away from him. He was in rather the same position as some crocodile on the Zambesi or some puma in Brazil would have been, if it had earmarked Plank for its lunch and seen him shin up a high tree.
    Annahas quoted2 years ago
    the smaller the ex-magistrate, the louder the dressing-gown. His was a bright purple number with yellow frogs,
    b9932600444has quoted2 years ago
    just as dark, if not darker, in the hall. But I was making quite satisfactory progress and was about halfway through the latter, when an unforeseen hitch occurred. I bumped into a human body, the last thing I had expected to encounter en route, and for an instant . . . well, I won't say that everything went black, because everything was black already, but I was considerably perturbed. My heart did one of those spectacular leaps Nijinsky used to do in the Russian Ballet, and I was conscious of a fervent wish that I could have been elsewhere.
    Elsewhere, however, being just where I wasn't, I had no option but to grapple with this midnight marauder, and when I did so I was glad to find that he was apparently one who had stunted his growth by smoking
    stoodyhas quoted2 years ago
    The poet Browning in his Pippa Passes, having established that the hour is seven A.M., goes on to say, "The lark's on the wing, the snail's on the thorn."'
    stoodyhas quoted2 years ago
    . From sport to sport they hurry me, to stifle my regret—'
    'And when they win a smile from me, they think that I forget. Th
    stoodyhas quoted2 years ago
    From sport to sport they hurry me, to stifle my regret—'
    'And when they win a smile from me, they think that I forget.
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    Spode fell to earth he knew not where and lay there looking peaceful
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    And don't forget that Spode, though crushed to earth, will rise again
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    I met Roderick just now, and he asked me if I knew where you were, because he wants to tear you limb from limb owing to his having seen you kiss the cook.'

    Gussie's jaw fell with a dull thud.

    'You never told me that,' he said to me, and one spotted the note of reproach in his voice.

    'No, sorry, I forgot to mention it. But it's true. You'd better start coping. Run like a hare, is my advice
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    As I told you, I have always loved her, and her happiness is very dear to me. It is everything to me. To give her a moment's pleasure I would cut myself in pieces.'

    I couldn't follow him there, but before I could go into the question of whether girls enjoy seeing people cut themselves in pieces he had resumed
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    Did you call me an ass?'

    'Certainly I did. I was taught by a long series of governesses always to speak the truth
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    Aberdeen terriers, possibly owing to their heavy eyebrows, always seem to look at you as if they were in the pulpit of the church of some particularly strict Scottish sect and you were a parishioner of dubious reputation sitting in the front row of the stalls
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    undersized little son of a bachelor
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    Curse the poet Shelley! I hope he trips over a loose shoelace and breaks his ruddy neck.'

    'Too late, sir. He is no longer with us.'

    'Blast all vegetables
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    I happened to mention Miss Bassett's name, and he said—follow this closely, Jeeves—he said—I quote—"Don't talk to me about Madeline. Madeline makes me sick." Close quotes.'

    'Indeed, sir?'

    'Those are not the words of love
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    There's something the matter, Stinker.'

    'No, there isn't. Why do you say that?'

    'Your manner is strange. You remind me of a faithful dog looking up into its proprietor's face as if it were trying to tell him something. Are you trying to tell me something
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    There's one thing you have to give Jeeves credit for. He lets the dead past bury its d. He and the young master may have had differences about Alpine hats with pink feathers in them, but when he sees the y.m. on the receiving end of the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, he sinks his dudgeon and comes through with the feudal spirit at its best. So now, instead of being cold and distant and aloof, as a lesser man would have been, he showed the utmost agitation and concern. That is to say, he allowed one eyebrow to rise perhaps an eighth of an inch, which is as far as he ever goes in the way of expressing emotion
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    I was prepared to concede that it would have been more suitable for rural wear, but against this had to be set the fact that it unquestionably lent a diablerie to my appearance, and mine is an appearance that needs all the diablerie it can get
    al mhas quoted2 years ago
    I eh-what-ed. 'You wouldn't care to amplify that?' I said. 'It got past me to some extent
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