A Girls Guide To Guys

STAGE TWO

Title: Getting a little closer

Difficulty: Not too bad, well it’s definitely a lot better than doing the housework!

Description: now to get to the important part, you know what kind of guy you’re after, you’ve been meeting and greeting all week and now comes the tricky decision of picking who you want and take in your new found friendship on to new levels .... Simple. Or is it?

CONTENTS

First stage over and hopefully you’re feeling spoilt for choice. Now that you’ve met a whole load of boys you can pick which one you think you most have a future with. But before you set your eye on someone there are a few details you need to check...

FINDING YOUR TARGET

Is he single? You might be thinking that you can make him dump his current girlfriend or have already heard that things aren’t going too well between them but until they are officially over then you should keep well away. You never know what’s going to happen between them and waiting around for someone isn’t fun and often ends up being a complete waste of time. If he cheats on her then he’s certainly not worthy of your time: remember if he can do that to her, he can easily do that to you.

Is he off limits? The following guys are STRICTLY OFF LIMITS: someone known to cheat, someone with a violent temper, teachers, anyone double your age.

And these guys should be approached with caution: any of your friends’ ex boyfriends, the best mate of your last boyfriend, someone who has turned you down before, the guy your best mate has been wanting to go out with for months.

Do you like him for the right reasons? If you are only after someone for any of the following reasons, you should seriously consider changing your mind as someone is bound to get hurt... and it could easily be you.

-to make an ex jealous

-to win a bet

-for a joke

-for revenge

-just to prove you can get a boyfriend

...And finally just a small note on fancying celebrities

They are perfect for hanging pictures of on your wall, drooling over on television, and Googling till you know more about them than probably they do. But while you may think that you two are destined to be together, devoting all your attention to a celebrity can be a bit of a waste of brain space! Chances are without all their stage make up and photo- shopped biceps they’ll look more pasty than tasty. And who knows while you’re spending all your time fixated on someone who doesn’t even know you exist, you could be missing the very cute guy who lives just next door!

Any boys who don’t fit the criteria you need to cross off your list before things go any further. You might also want to consider how easy it would be to keep in contact with him because this could affect a relationship later on. Committing to a long distance relationship can be very hard and isn’t wise if you’re after something serious. But this can be a hard one to call so let’s look at the pros and cons.

Long distance relationships Vs short distance relationships

REASONS NOT TO HAVE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP:

Reason 1 - The distance can put a strain on the relationship, you might have to travel a long way to see them and although you can keep in touch over emails and letters it’s just not the same.

Reason 2 - You’ll always have the worry that you don’t know what he is doing on a day to day basis and not being around makes it easier for him to cheat- or of course make it easier for you to be distracted by someone else!

Reason 3 - Being far apart makes it difficult to go and enjoy the small things of being together like going round his house on a Friday night to watch DVD’s together, going to parties with your very own escort and getting a cheer-up-hug after a bad day. It might start to feel like your missing out or worse, that you haven’t really got a boyfriend at all.

Reason 4 - If you have an argument with him its easy to let things go and get out of hand because you don’t see him face to face to sort things out.

However if you’re not really after a long-term relationship or the distance is only temporary then maybe it’s not such a bad idea. Long distance relationship’s can work for some people and there’s nothing to say you can’t end things should you find they aren’t working out. After all having a bit of distance has its advantages:

Reason 1 - When you do see him it will be extra special and you’ll appreciate that time you have together a lot more.

Reason 2 - You have more time to spend doing other things without worrying that your being neglectful.

Reason 3 - As the saying goes “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”

Managed to narrow your list down to just one yet? Probably not. Getting to know them might help you make your final decision over who is best for you. If you already know who it is you want then all the better! Once the initial, first conversation is over you can also concentrate on showing him the real you. You’ll only do this by talking to him LOTS! That’s not saying turn into his second shadow but just as much as possible whilst not appearing on the verge of obsession. It’s difficult to know when playing it cool turns into too cool but generally saying hi to him when you see him is good and hanging round outside his house for a couple of hours just to say hi is bad. If he’s hanging out with his friends then try to join in a conversation with them as well so you look sociable. If you’re having problems thinking of things to say then it might be helpful to do a bit of undercover work.

DO YOUR RESEARCH

Put your night goggles away, we’re talking about his favourite type of music and who is friends are. Not what time he wakes up and the last ten phone calls he made! Doing a bit of research on things he likes helps you get to know what kind of guy he is and gives a few topics to talk about to prevent those mid-flirt mind blanks. Here’s what information you should know:

Where he likes to hangout. If you know them, ask his mates where he likes to hang out and what sort of things he likes to do. Not only will this give you something to talk about but also you can plan a “surprise” meeting where you just happen to turn up at his favourite hangout!

What kind of music he likes. Look on any web sites or profile pages he has and see what you can work out from there. Perhaps he has a background wallpaper of his favourite band or musician. If so, see if you can get to listen to a couple of their songs or read up a little bit about who they are. Even if you find you don’t like them it will at least give you something to argue over!

What his hobbies are. A good topic of conversation is always “what are you up to at the weekend”. Try to ask this a couple of times (just not in the same week!) and pay close attention to his replies to see what kind of hobbies he has. This is particularly useful in seeing what you have in common.

His personality. This is the most important one and requires you to talk to him in person for a fairly long time (10-15 minutes at least). Does he come across as arrogant, bossy or bad tempered? Does he say nasty things about other people while you’re with him? All these things are a bad sign that this isn’t the kind of boy you want to get mixed up with. It’s true that he could be just having a bad day but if your gut feeling tells you something’s just not quite right then trust yourself and back away.

As you get to know him a little better you’ll probably get to know about the other women in his life as well, most likely including his mother. However before you let your green eyed monster take over make sure you know what you’re dealing with.

HIS EX

Very few boys still keep in contact with their ex- girlfriends and fewer still actually like them. The problem comes however when his ex is still hanging around for whatever reason and you’re not quite sure whether things have completely fizzled out between them. In times like these, your first line of action is to try and judge who is the one keeping in touch. If it’s her then you don’t need to worry