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John Gottman

What Makes Love Last

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In this insightful book, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love and shares the results of his famous “Love Lab”: Where does love come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade? And how can we keep it alive? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate a fraying relationship and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken.
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302 printed pages
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Quotes

  • alexandraazaleahas quoted5 years ago
    When couples are trustworthy they send each other the message that they and the partnership are unique and irreplaceable. During couples’ counseling I call this “creating the sacred” because “sacred” and “sacrifice” have the same root—both words originated in early religious practices that involved sacrifice as a form of worship. In a long-term, committed relationship, sacrifice entails both people agreeing to give the romance priority over other goals and dreams. Learning to do this may be difficult for couples who no longer connect emotionally. These “partners” may have coped with years of unhappiness by leading separate, parallel lives. It can be hard to break this habit, but it is certainly possible.
  • alexandraazaleahas quoted5 years ago
    couple’s mutual trust score indicates how deeply they are in this together and have each other’s back. In contrast, trustworthiness indicates a partner’s willingness to sacrifice for the relationship, to sometimes put his or her own needs on the back burner because the partnership matters most.
  • alexandraazaleahas quoted5 years ago
    the Nice box housed positive emotions and behaviors such as interest, amusement, humor, laughter, excitement, joy, validation, and empathy.

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