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Quotes from “Of Men and Women” by Pearl S. Buck

Sofia
Sofiahas quoted5 months ago
there must always be something unusual in a woman who is willing to cross oceans and make a home on alien earth
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
When marriage is no longer considered necessary between men and women, when children are born without families to be responsible for them, then the end result is that the state must take over
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
it is well that American women have had the experience of having to think for themselves and do for themselves, in this long interval when so many thousands of our men have been away
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
Let me hasten to say next that men have changed, too. They expect more of women, they demand more of women. Male eyes follow a pretty girl as unfailingly as ever, but they are eyes that carry more than a sexual question. There is plenty of simple physical sex, of course—and physical sex is, by the way, essentially a very simple business in spite of all the books written on the subject–but there is in the male calculation a question and a demand for something more, if a relationship is to continue. Brains are surprisingly often appreciated. Men enjoy being amused, diverted, stimulated to thought and consideration of new ideas, and once having had this new and surprising experience with a woman, they learn to demand it. This has, of course, an important effect on women, leading them to further self-development.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
Most women of this generation have had, for some period at least, to be both father and mother to their children. Many have had to go to work in offices and factories in order to eke out their incomes. They have learned to know themselves and their own powers. They have learned to recognize the good qualities of other women, and as a result of mutual admiration have lost much of their former pettiness
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
The change in woman is that women are less jealous of each other, more loyal to each other, and less inclined to believe in the leadership of men simply because they are men. I do not say for one moment that they value men less or like them less or consider them less necessary to life and happiness. On the contrary, indeed! I feel today’s women realize as never before the necessity of men’s love and companionship and they admire generously the achievements of men. But they are more selective about men. Women today tend, I think, to judge a man first as a human being, and only secondly as a man. Thirty years ago I think the reverse was true. This change is true, moreover, in women’s attitude toward women. Women are increasingly judging women first as human beings and only secondly as women—or to put it more precisely, as females.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
Freedom without opportunity is meaningless.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
happiness for men and women is in the greatest freedom for both that is consistent with equal opportunity
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
This is folly for all, for the exceptional woman’s place is insecure when it is too far above the place of other women. No woman is high enough if all women are not. And yet if one rises she should not be hated by the others—rather should she be looked upon as a hope for all. That she is hated, is only another example of the axiom that civilization is no stronger than its most barbarous member.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
And yet the exceptional woman deserves a good deal of this enmity because she allows herself to be cut off from other women by her selfishness in success, instead of using her success to lead others to better and higher places.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
The exceptional woman is a reproach in her freedom to those less gifted or less energetic or less conscientious women who do not wish to undertake the responsibilities of freedom. Deep in her heart, woman knows she has accepted the privileges of freedom but not the responsibilities. If one woman can achieve so much, other women ask themselves uneasily, does it show that all women ought to be more? Rather than answer that question honestly, it is easier to point fingers and cry out charges of unwomanliness and neglect of home and children and the absence of virtues which have for so long been woman’s excuse.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
the truly female woman cannot be made unwomanly. Whatever she is doing, she remains feminine in every look and word and act.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
Brilliant, beautiful, and powerful, she is a monstrosity
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
And yet I cannot but acknowledge that the exceptional woman, as she sometimes is, is not a likable creature, nor does she inspire other women to emulate her in any way. She is assertive. She is ruthless in her behavior to other women and cares nothing for their well-being as a group. Her entire life and energy are absorbed in the effort to keep her place among men. These men she treats rudely if they disapprove of her, sentimentally if they approve. They admire her cautiously, hate her secretly or openly, fear her profoundly, and respect her unwillingly. She stands to them as a living argument for keeping women in the home and out of the way.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
Let woman out of the home, let man into it, should be the aim of education. The home needs man, and the world outside needs woman. Children need their fathers at home and they need their mothers outside of it. That is, the work of the world needs to be done by men and women together.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
the root of any wish for power is to be found in insecurity of some sort and in distrust of others through ignorance of them. We do not want to rule those whom we trust and understand.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
And there are those far deeper hostilities aroused when she in her fifteen-year-old urges presses her instinctive attentions upon the fifteen-year-old boy, biologically unready for her and therefore afraid of her and resentful of her frustration and repelled by her, and yet somehow degraded in his own eyes with mortification at his own inadequacy.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
What is happiness if it is not the knowledge that all capacities are being fully used? And what is woman’s tragedy except the knowledge that what she has she cannot give, what she is she cannot be?
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
Woman must follow into the world those activities which once were hers in the home. She must busy herself again with problems of food and housing and education and religion and government. Her task of creating an environment for her children she must go on doing in the community, in the nation, in the world, since home has ceased now to be the real environment for man and child. She must follow man and child and live where they live if she is to continue to be to them what once she was in the preservation of life and the stimulation of mind and spirit.
Артем Малахивский
Артем Малахивскийhas quoted6 months ago
Women can ask nothing, expect nothing, in moral improvement in the world unless they go out into that world and take their share in its work. Nor can they prepare their children morally for a world which they themselves do not know by actual sharing of its responsibilities.
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