How to Find Yourself

There comes a point in many people’s lives when they feel quite keenly that they have absolutely no idea who they are.

“Who am I? And what do I really want out of this life?”

Self-discovery can’t happen unless we think that our identity is something valuable and worth not only investigating, but caring for and cherishing.

fact, how we respond to life’s dilemmas, choices, and difficulties says a lot about the strength of our own values.

Without delving too deeply into it all just yet, can you start asking in a general way what your family taught

Maybe you came from a family where the unspoken lesson was, “Being different is bad.” You learned that to get affection and care, you needed to obey and be like everyone else. Being raised this way, you might even feel like the path of personal discovery is just a selfish indulgence, or dangerous somehow, because you might find yourself abandoned or kicked out of “the group” if you try to be unique.

Maybe you came from a family where the unspoken lesson was, “Being different is bad.” You learned that to get affection and care, you needed to obey and be like everyone else. Being raised this way, you might even feel like the path of personal discovery is just a selfish indulgence, or dangerous somehow, because you might find yourself abandoned or kicked out of “the group” if you try to be unique.

This bears repeating: self-knowledge is a normal, natural state. The problem is that we live in a world set up to obscure this natural relationship we have with ourselves. Though we might come into the world complete and with a strong sense of what we want (have you ever seen a baby struggle to know what they want out of life?), we can soon lose sight of our own internal compass.

The Effect of Our Formative Years

yourself what core beliefs are being reinforced, and why. Notice how you feel. If you’re feeling lost, a little pessimistic, and unsure who you are and what you want, you can rest assured that at least some of that feeling has been introduced to you by the media.