Meena Kandasamy

When I Hit You

    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    Some men leave me because I am unpredictable – sunshine one moment and storm clouds the next; the scent of summer rain with the sleep-depriving aftershock of thunder. They cannot keep pace with the fighting that follows the kissing that follows the argument that follows the laughing in unending circles.
    Anna Norling Svanehas quotedlast month
    The number one lesson I have learnt as a writer: Don’t let people remove you from your own story. Be ruthless, even if it is your own mother.
    Anna Norling Svanehas quotedlast month
    The cure is not even in medicine. It is in the state of mind. You have to stop worrying. Every day after that is a day of progress. Worry just kills you from the inside. Any disease can take hold of you.
    b9553486412has quoted2 years ago
    Fight or Flight.

    The old formula again. I haven’t given up fighting, not yet.

    The flight only comes when the fight has failed.
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    needless questions of men, the worthless jealousy of other women
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    The soul-talk where I congratulate myself on every moment that I do not have to bother about the incorrigible nature of love, its heavy baggage and bitter arguments, the
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    The shaming is in being asked to stand to judgment
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    Sometimes the shame is not the beatings, not the rape.
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    the eyes of the world, a woman who runs away from death is more dignified than a woman who runs away from her man
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    My father on the phone:
    He is hitting you? The bastard. Ah, my daughter. I would have imagined you hitting him. Just try to avoid conflict as much as possible
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    not talk too much. Never in history has anything been solved by constantly talking. Good character resides only where anger resides
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    Silence is a shield and it is also a weapon. Learn how to use it
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    You cannot make peace unless you hold your tongue
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    When he hits me, the most frightening part is not the pain and the possible scarring and the perverted sense of shame. It is not in knowing that I’m defeated, or in the realization that I am not physically strong enough to match him blow for blow, that I cannot teach him a lesson never to mess with me.
    When he hits me, the terror follows from the instinct that this will go further, that this does not end easily, that today it is my arms that he is punching, but tomorrow it will be my hair that he will wind around his palm to drag me through the rooms, the next day it will be my backbone that will endure a shattering blow, the day after that it will be my head on which his angry fists will descend.
    When he hits me, these thoughts pile on in quick succession.
    When he hits me, the terror flows from the fear that today he uses his bare hands, but tomorrow he could wield a heavy-buckled belt, he could grab an iron rod, he could throw a chair, that he could break open my head against a wall.
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    I decide against a love that decides against acknowledging me. I want a man for whom I will have the right to mourn in public, by whose dead body I can sit for the last few hours before it is consigned to ashes, on
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    whom I can throw myself and weep my heart to a stop. This is not feminism.
    I am just a woman in love.
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    * *
    Let me tell you something that goes against popular wisdom.
    Love is not blind; it just looks in the wrong places.
    * *
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    I want you to marry me because I want to confront the reasons why you refuse to marry me.
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    want you to marry me because I want to confront the reasons why you refuse to marry me. When you fail to take even a step towards marriage, I want to know why this idea does not exist on your horizon. I want to know why I am rejected even if you never say these words yourself. I want to know what it is about me that makes me unworthy of being your wife.
    Refiloe Masitahas quoted3 years ago
    people in love do. I do not ask you to marry me because I believe in marriage or because I believe in this society. I do not ask you to marry me because we can live together night and day or because I would die if I do not get to wash your underwear with my own delicate hands. I do not ask you to marry me because I want to be your dazzling trophy wife, or because I can be the gold-digger who married up, up, up above her status.
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