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Robin Berman

Permission to Parent

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After being bombarded by parenting fad after parenting fad, moms and dads finally have a friendly, commonsense guide to raising thriving children.
Today, many parents have rejected the dictatorships they resented from their own childhoods. But they overcorrected by turning into child-pleasers. Showering praise and letting kids rule the roost has actually eroded the very self-esteem parents are trying to create.
Using her clinical experience, psychiatrist Robin Berman shows parents how they can take charge while building a loving family with deep connections. How children learn love and respect at home becomes the template for how they show love and respect in life. It’s a huge task, but Dr. Berman is your ally every step of the way.
Every parent’s struggles are reflected (many of them comically), but so are heartwarming triumphs.  Parents, teachers and children themselves recount turning points at which they figured out what great parenting looked like and the magic it unlocked.
This engaging book—a perfect mix of medical research and inspirational anecdotes—just might be the key to being the parent you want to be and the parent your children need.
Health & FitnessChildren's HealthChildPsychologyDevelopmental
This book is currently unavailable
221 printed pages
Publication year
2014

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  • coselkenhas quoted7 years ago
    As soon as you hear “You are a mean mommy,” try to name your child’s feeling and mirror it back more constructively. “I understand that you are disappointed to have to leave the party, but calling me names is not OK.” When you hear “I hate my brother,” you can say, “I can tell you’re really upset that he took your toy.” Address the authentic primary feeling of hurt, not the secondary anger. Redirect the language into more compassionate communication.
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    • coselkenhas quoted7 years ago
      • She calmed her own emotions down—we have to be the lesson before we can teach the lesson.
      • She modeled a gentle tone.
      • She set out clear rules for how to talk to each other.
      • She gave the boys an opportunity to learn conflict resolution by empowering them to work it out themselves. They became more invested in the outcome and active participants in the problem solving.
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      • coselkenhas quoted7 years ago
        Step 1: Take a moment to calm yourself first.
        Step 2: Acknowledge the feeling. “I know that you are disappointed.”
        Step 3: Set the limit. “It is not OK to act like this.”
        Step 4: Give an opportunity to self-regulate. “You can pick one of these two desserts.”
        Step 5: State a firm consequence. “If you can’t control your behavior, we are going to leave the party.”
        Step 6: Follow through. Shock the parent police and actually leave. Thunderous applause will erupt.
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