Improve Your Conversations

How many people can you name that can do passable, if not flat-out hilarious, impersonations of Janet Reno, George W. Bush, Alex Trebek, and Robert Goulet?
There is only one man who possesses the talent to do such a thing: Will Ferrell.
For those that are unfamiliar with Will Ferrell, he is a stand-up comedian, actor, and improv comic that was one of the primary drivers of Saturday Night Live’s (SNL) revival during the 1990s. He was able to parlay his exposure at SNL into a comedic movie career to rival that of any of the greats.
He was also one of the first performers that was an “automatic” for me. What do I mean by that?
It means that anything he released, acted in, or was involved in, I would without question automatically watch it. I’d buy it, rent it, or watch it in the theater on opening

should focus on and try to seek in your conversations, and what should you try to avoid? Moreover, which of the bad habits are you guilty of, and are you compelling others to want to converse with you, or are you actually repelling them?

For me, that meant letting go of my own self-consciousness and any agenda I had coming into the interaction since there was no guarantee it would ever come up, and I had to work with what the other person gave me.

Many stray from social interaction and conversation because it can be so unpredictable. What if it’s awkward, they hate you, think you’re weird, or don’t laugh at any of your jokes?
This compels some people to have a script in their head every time they talk

The same dynamic exists in normal conversation. If you can turn your boring, job-focused conversation into something enjoyable for both parties, then they will enjoy being around you more and subsequently open up to you more

t boils down to this: if someone conveys that they are angry and we completely miss it, an awkward and uncomfortable situation arises. When this happens frequently enough, people will tend to avoid you. If you can accurate catch the emotions people are conveying, even though they may not be saying it explicitly, they will feel that you understand them better and be more drawn to you.

emotional state of people you’re interacting with, which can be as simple as whether or not they are enjoying a topic of conversation, you’re given a template for where to go and how.

understand what someone is trying to convey through their words or body language, and you understand what you yourself are conveying to others through the same

Here’s a simple exercise to demonstrate the power of details and what they say about what people are thinking.

Ask someone to tell you about one of their most exciting and fun weekends that they can remember. Hopefully they have a lot to say about it. Covertly in your mind, count the number of details that they give to certain parts of the story.

Try asking them to elaborate on the parts of the story where there was more detail. Are they more excited about talking about those parts? Now try asking them to elaborate on parts of the story where there was little detail. Did they care at all? You can easily use details to find out what matters to people and what excites them. Let this guide your conversations.

Every conversation or story typically has some sort of goal. You can more easily find that goal just by paying attention to the details.