Al Switzler

First, opinions vary.

Second, stakes are high.

Third, emotions run

strong.

When it

comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled

people find a way to get all relevant information (from themselves

and others) out into the open.

That's it. At the core of every successful conversation lies the

free flow of relevant information. People openly and honestly

express their opinions, share their feelings, and articulate their

theories. They willingly and capably share their views, even when

their ideas are controversial or unpopular.

The Pool of Shared Meaning

is the birthplace of synergy.

When stakes

are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, we're often at

our worst. In order to move to our best, we have to find a way to

explain what is in each of our personal pools of meaning-

especially our high-stakes, sensitive, and controversial opinions,

feelings, and ideas-and to get others to share their pools. We

have to develop the tools that make it safe for us to discuss these

issues and to come to a shared pool of meaning. And when we do, our lives change.

FIRST, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU REAllY WANT