Shelby Leigh

to insecurity:

if i could step out of my body

and see myself from another view,

would i recognize me?

would i see everything that i think

is so wrong?

(would i see everything that i think

is so unworthy of love?)

i have so much to say,

but i choke on

self-doubt

to anxiety, ii:

you’ve always been good at

choking me

with my own words

but

i am

tired of feeling tired

when i speak

to the one i envy:

i pretend you’re perfect,

though recently

i discovered

you’re not.

you see, i have spent so

much time wanting to be you

that it hurts to say

i’ve changed my mind.

(because there are

pieces of me

that i would

really miss.)

instead of lowering

my expectations so

i wouldn’t get hurt,

i raised them to what i

have always deserved

to the quiet ones

who are afraid

of the sound of

their own voices:

write

and your words will

scream from the page.

(and you will be heard.)

to the ones who underestimate themselves:

when you finally break the anchor

and remember how it feels to be free,

you will look back and ask

how you ever doubted yourself

when all along

you carried the strength

in your own two palms

to society:

my whole life i’ve cared too much

what you thought of me

but now i don’t care at all.

i urge my mouth to open

and push the words out.

i have so much to say,

but i choke on

self-doubt.

to anxiety:

every conversation i have

becomes your new favorite song

and you play it on repeat,

only pressing pause

once i’ve analyzed every word.

(you’ve made me fear

the sound of my own voice.)