The fact is, you’re probably not aware that someone is out there working overtime to keep you safe from the worst drinks ever devised, worse even than a kale martini or a Chlamydia on the Beach.

And it’s okay to admit it, because you’re not alone. So little is known about the dark world of alcohol espionage that very few have heard the story of the Flavor League: that hearty band of connoisseurs, idealists, nerds, and adult delinquents who, armed with nothing but their wits and a few impressive examples of cutting-edge pharmacology, strive tirelessly to safeguard the quality of the lubricants you rely on daily to cope with brutal first-world problems.

The story is emphatically not a dry history, some laundry list of exploits, removed from the daily lives of flesh-and-blood humans with real liver and kidney issues. In fact, it features two people real enough to stumble through the messy beginnings of a love affair while becoming legends in the field of ethanol policing: one a brilliant if somewhat erratic member of the League, the other a maverick tasting genius whose passionate hatred of vodka transforms the world of drinks. Two people who give new meaning to the word “courage”. Also to the words “weird” and “obsessive.”

So let me invite you to settle in with a bottle or two of your favorite libation, and drink your way into the somewhat woozy heart of wine and spirits justice, the battle against hucksters and flavor chemists and alcohol evil-doers of every stripe, including the ruthless ringleaders of UNIVOD, the shadowy organization whose iron fist controls modern Russia and its vodka supply, and at one point nearly that of the rest of the world, too.

How were the nefarious plans of these blackguards foiled? What’s the best mineral water for a hangover? How do they get that horrible red color into those cherries? We’ve got a double shot of answers for you in this book: often shaken, sometimes stirred, sometimes even on the rocks—but always with a twist!

Paul Moser

Books