His blue eyes blazed with determination. "I push people away because being close to me means painting a target on your back. I never want my loved ones to be used as bargaining chips, to be kidnapped and ransomed or beaten and raped as punishment for gang world bullshit. I want better than that for you, Kate. I want you to have a normal fucking life away from all of this." He paused, breathing heavily. I could hear my own pulse racing in my ears, and suddenly the rain and cold may as well have been a million miles away.