Goldberg

The work came easily and naturally to me. But, for that very reason, I resisted it.

His reply changed my life: “Sometimes the easy way out is the right way in.”

That’s what self-defeating behavior does. It works against our own best interests. It defies our deepest desires. It creates more problems than it solves

“I can’t believe I did that again! I should have known better! I’m my own worst enemy!”

Self-defeating behavior occurs when we fail to learn the lessons that life tries to teach us. It represents the victory of impulse over awareness, immediate gratification over lasting satisfaction, relief over resolution

When faced with a crisis, a threat or a potentially upsetting situation, we try to protect ourselves

ourselves. We grasp for something that will reduce tension or keep us from getting hurt

. The action itself seems logical and expedient at the time, and it might actually succeed in bringing about short-term relief. But that behavior invariably comes back to haunt us

Then we curse ourselves for being stupid, foolish or weak, when in truth we had simply lost perspective in the midst of a threatening or confusing situation

or neglected instead, feel unprotected and alone