I am Justine Elyot. I love to write erotica and erotic romance. Elements you are likely to find in my work include: moustachioed melodrama villains, whips, wisecracks, knights in tarnished armour, damsels under duress, lovers, leather, aquiline features, references to popular songs. I massively overuse qualifiers like ‘really’, ‘quite’, ‘actually’ etc. and can’t resist the temptation to substitute long words for ‘said’. Reviewers either rave or cringe, with very little middle reactive ground (insert Marmite cliche here). Which will you do?