Another reason for controlling feelings is the fear that being emotionally involved with others could lead to being taken advantage of by those who recognize his neediness and emotional insecurity. Therefore, the person relates to others very superficially, deceptively, and artificially, rather than intimately, genuinely, and intensely.

Relationships with others are fundamentally battles to be won

then you insist on the signs and symbols of affection more than real affection. You care more about being given certain words and performances, which to you are “proofs” of love or being highly valued,