Jackson MacKenzie

One of the most common phrases I hear from trauma survivors is: “I miss my old self”—the person who felt cheerful, loving, and fun.

But what if the old self hasn’t actually gone anywhere? What if we just have some very stubborn messages living inside of us that block us from experiencing it?

When we’re hungry, we eat food. When we’re out of shape, we go to the gym. When we’re tired, we go to sleep. But for some reason, when we’re feeling unlovable, we analyze ourselves to death until we feel worse.

A bad day doesn’t mean you’re a hopeless failure, just like an F on a quiz doesn’t mean you won’t pass the class. If you fail or stumble along the way, a good teacher would offer you special care to help you better understand the material. In this case, you need to become the good teacher.

In his book The Way of the Human, volume II, Stephen Wolinsky even goes so far as to write: “The story as to why you feel what you feel is not important. When you get into explanations, stories, reasons or justifications of ‘why,’ then you are splitting
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off from the experience itself. The story comes after the experience and it is a justification and a distraction. You cannot think your way out of the False Core–False Self because it is doing the thinking. Your mind is driven by it.”