This book is about a slightly fictionalized account of my life in elementary school, inspired by actual events. Embellishments of strange happenings were unnecessary because human foibles ran rampant. However, most names and places have been changed so as not to embarrass the guilty, inept and downright scurvy. The stories are retold in a series of vignettes which best captured my mood at the time. Those long-ago times were filled with tears, jeers and soiled underwear, not to mention the puddles of urine and vomit during the early years. Those who kept their wits about themselves usually survived and thrived; those who were twits, not so much. Our parents and teachers wanted us to learn and prosper; we just desired to play, eat lunch, defecate and go home- to play some more. I wanted to relive those vapid memories, some good, some bad, and to entertain you in the process. Perhaps you will laugh along with me. Maybe at me, as well!