Toxic In-Laws, Susan Forward
Susan Forward

Toxic In-Laws

294 printed pages
Susan Forward's practical and powerful book will help couples cope with terrible and toxic in–laws.
Toxic in–laws are in–laws who create genuine chaos through various assaults––aggressive or subtle––on you and your marriage. Toxic–in laws come in a wide variety of guises, “ The Critics.; “, who tell you what you're doing wrong, “The Controllers.;", who try to run you and your partner's life, “ The Engulfers.;", who make incessant demands on your time, “ The Masters of Chaos.;", who drain you and your partner with their problems, and, “ The Rejecters.;", who let you know they don't want you as part of their family.
Susan Forward draws on real–life voices and stories of both women and men struggling to free themselves from the frustrating, hurtful and infuriating relationships with their toxic in–laws. Dr. Forward offers you highly effective communication and behavioral techniques for getting through to partners who won't or can't stand up to their parents. Next, she lays out accessible and practical ways to reclaim you marriage from your in–laws. She shows you what to say, what to do and what limits to set. If you follow these strategies, you may not turn toxic in–laws into the in–laws of your dreams, but you will find some peace in your relationship with them.
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Toxic in-laws are people who, through various types of assaults on you and your marriage, create genuine chaos. These assaults can be open and aggressive or subtle and subversive. They may range from attempts to control you through guilt-peddling or the use of money, to hurtful rejection of you because of religious or cultural differences. They are usually unapologetic and often unrelenting
Nobody gives a damn about what I feel or believe. I thought she and I were clear about how we wanted to raise our kids. This time, I’m not backing down! How can she just toss something this important aside because she can’t stand to say no to her father?”
To David, as the newcomer, the issues seemed relatively simple. You just tell Norm something like “I respect your beliefs and I would appreciate it if you would do the same with us. I know it’s difficult for you, but you’re just going to have to accept that we’re going to raise our child the way we think is best.” And with a different kind of father-in-law and a different kind of partner, that would have established some appropriate boundaries. There might have been some discussion, some adult-to-adult airing of disappointments and resentments, but, ultimately, the subject would be closed. Not so, however, with a controlling parent and a still-compliant child.
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