William Ury

Getting to Yes with Yourself

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Thomas Og Susanne Nellemann Holmhas quoted3 years ago
To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
did. We hide our light under a bushel. Only when we face adversity do we wake up and realize that we can only fulfill our purpose if we give what we are here to give, in other words, if we let our light shine for others.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
When faced with the opportunity to give our gifts to the world, we often run the other way like Jonah
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
Perhaps the most enduring way to strengthen our attitude of giving is to find a purpose or activity that makes us a natural giver. Just like a muscle, the attitude of giving benefits from exercise. Through a purpose, giving can become engrained in the fabric of our lives.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
When we discover the joy of giving, we give because we feel moved to give. In the first stage of giving, we may give to others simply in order to receive. We may treat the relationship with the other person like a business transaction. In the second stage of giving, however, we give without expecting a direct tangible return.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
Paradoxically perhaps, giving simply for the pleasure of giving can bring us the most satisfaction in the end.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
To cultivate our attitude of giving, it helps to discover the sheer joy that can come from giving.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
When we start to appreciate how giving for mutual gain helps us, as Sorenson did, we are motivated as he was to change our attitude from taking to giving.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
the most successful negotiators turn out to be people who adopt a cooperative approach that focuses on meeting the needs of both parties.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
mean losing. Giving in the first instance can simply mean looking for mutual gain, helping others at the same time as we help ourselves. That is the essence of win-win negotiation.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
The first way to strengthen our attitude of giving is to appreciate how creating value for others can help us tangibly meet our needs. Giving need not mean sacrificing our interests. It does not require us to become a Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi. Nor does giving mean giving in to the other person’s demands. Giving does not
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
till, the fear of scarcity can be very strong. To cultivate a basic attitude of giving, it helps to root that attitude in our self-interest, in our pleasure, and in our purpose. In other words, give for mutual gain, give for joy and meaning, and give what you are here to give.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
path to personal satisfaction, both inner and outer.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
The research suggests that giving works in part because it increases the probability that someone else will do something good for you. Giving, it turns out, is the
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
ncluded. If we can say yes to the basic dignity of others, getting to yes becomes a lot easier and our relationships at home, at work, and in the world become far more productive and satisfying
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
By showing respect, we are more likely to receive respect. By accepting, we are more likely to be accepted. By including, we are more likely to be
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
accepting people who reject or attack us doesn’t mean ignoring injustice or evil, but rather giving respect to their humanity even as we confront their wrongful actions. Accepting those who reject us doesn’t mean saying yes to their demands; as the hostage negotiators show, it can often mean saying no, but in a positive manner that acknowledges the other person’s inherent dignity
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
In the face of rejection, do the opposite of what you at first feel like doing. Instead of rejecting others, surprise them with respect. Take the lead and change the cycle of mutual rejection into a cycle of mutual respect.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
onsciously expand our circle of respect to encompass others whom at first we might not want or think to include.
Miguel Castrohas quoted8 months ago
Whether it is a family feud or an ethnic conflict or workplace tension, the way we can begin to resolve the conflict is to change our attitude and
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