Never Google Heartbreak

I want you. I’ve always wanted you and I never want to stop wanting you.

What do any of us know at any age?

Riding on buses, boats, bikes, taxis and underground trains, talking on phones, hustling for deals, queuing for coffee. This world is moving on while I sit here feeling like I’ve swallowed a great big jagged rock.

Max has woken me from a nightmare and I realise that when I’m with him, everything is proper and brilliant and in colour.

He’s mine, my fiancé, my safe future.

Don’t know how you’ll feel, seeing me with someone else . . .’

I really feel the best thing would be to stay in my pyjamas and walk round and round the flat.

‘Me too. I’m bringing someone

‘A girl . . . friend?’

‘Yeah.’ The apology in his voice stabs me through the heart. It takes a second for me to breathe again.

‘What kind of girlfriend?’

‘What do you mean, what kind?’

I love the way he walks and how he sleeps curled up. I love the way he wrinkles his nose and sniffs when he’s concentrating.