House As a Mirror of Self

There should be at least one room, or some corner, where no one will find you and disturb you or notice you. You should be able to untether yourself from the world and set yourself free, loosing all the fine strings and strands of tension that bind you, by sight, by sound, by thought, to the presence of other men.
—T
HOMAS
M
ERTON

When the honeymoon is over, differences may surface regarding issues of privacy and boundaries. It is wise to explore these issues before the Big Move.

Falling in love and deciding to live together are happy but serious occurrences

One way to start is for each of you privately to write or draw what home means to you. For one, a place to have a garden may be essential; for the other, a private space in which to tinker may be really

When one person in the family—mother, wife, husband—molds a place in terms of their own environmental needs and biases, others—children, spouse, lover—may find this place not at all supportive of their self-identity. Initial discomfort may lead to open conflict and then eventual separation so the self who feels unexpressed can find and mold a setting on thei

Self-identity is not an immutable, stable structure, but is in a state of flux throughout life and is particularly liable to reassessment at specific stages of the life cycle (puberty, young

The secret to riding out these difficult times is communication and compromise

Often we repress or ignore it, passing on to what seem more pressing demands. Our ego-self is the most conservative element of the psyche—resisting, fearing change, it contrives to ignore the call of the soul. But there comes a time when the soul's insistence cannot be ignored; it is a voice seducing us into a

that between the ego-self demanding recognition of our individual place in the world, and the transpersonal Self or soul, reminding us of our connection with all that is

One of the most subtle and profound struggles we are likely to encounter is