Four Seconds, Peter Bregman
Peter Bregman

Four Seconds

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Sampath Kumar
Sampath Kumarhas quoted2 years ago
In some situations, doing nothing—forever—is the right response. With my tendonitis, doing nothing helped. Sometimes, not trying to fix something is precisely what’s needed to fix it.
Sampath Kumar
Sampath Kumarhas quoted2 years ago
How did I arrive at those choices? I looked through the thousands of words I had written in preparation for the talk to find something I felt added my unique perspective to the conversation about learning. It seems obvious to me now, but how could I have hoped to find my unique perspective by asking others? Instead, I looked into the dark for what others had overlooked.
Sampath Kumar
Sampath Kumarhas quoted2 years ago
if you want to get something done, become a busy person. Don’t empty your schedule, fill it. The busier you are, the less time you have to get in your own way.
Sampath Kumar
Sampath Kumarhas quoted2 years ago
key: if you want to follow through on something, stop thinking.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
Mostly, things are useful for a particular time. Then they’re not. For many things, it’s better to have a temporary solution that you’re willing to change than a solution you think is permanent and that, as a result, you get stuck on.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
Relying on willpower is an uphill, never-ending battle. Instead, structure your environment and life so that you are more likely to accomplish your most important priorities.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
you want to change people’s behavior, you have to change the stories they hear and the ones they tell.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
say something. Anything. I know you can add value to this call, and the client needs to know it too.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
We complain because we feel alone and disconnected in our stress. So we gossip to create camaraderie with our fellow gossiper. We get snarky about our boss to align ourselves with our colleague. But complaining and gossiping are like my chocolate-chip and peanut-butter Rice Krispies mixture—they make us feel good while we’re doing it, but we feel worse immediately after-ward.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
People in one silo often have information needed by—but never given to—people in another silo.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
Never meet someone’s negativity with your positivity. If you want to turn around someone’s attitude, try agreeing with them first.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
We all have a natural tendency to vent—but in today’s work environments, it’s almost impossible to vent in a way that isn’t destructive to you and the people around you. If you feel uncontrollably emotional, write in a journal as angrily as you want. Or go into the bathroom alone and have a tantrum. Or go for a walk.

But, in public, be calm. Be supportive of others. Show leadership by avoiding—and, when necessary, actively managing—drama that could distract, embarrass, or unsettle others. And never, ever be the cause of that drama yourself.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
Whenever you’re taken by surprise or feel attacked by someone, resist the impulse to act defensively. Instead ask a question. It is much more likely that the situation will be diffused, and you’ll save the time wasted arguing and recriminating.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
Our well-meaning attempts to make people feel better almost always backfire. Try empathy instead; it communicates trust. and people feel most connected—and perform best—when they feel trusted
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
In other words, don’t start from where you are, start from where they are. What do they need in that moment? Some advice? A story about what you did in a similar situation? Perhaps just an empathetic ear? Or maybe simply some patience.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
I realized that when I’m not accomplishing something, I’m not sure who I am.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
The most effective people are able to navigate ambiguity.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
Effectiveness begins with confidence. Next time your inner critic makes an appearance, replace it with a voice of love, care, and support; the voice you would use with a six-year-old.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
Next time you find yourself in the spotlight, let go of the idea that you’re “performing.” Instead, allow yourself to experience the moment, and your performance will immediately go up.
Natallia Shauchenka
Natallia Shauchenkahas quoted2 years ago
What makes a performance different than an experience? It’s all in your head.
Are you trying to look good? Do you want to impress others or win something? Are you looking for acceptance, approval, accolades, wild and thunderous applause? Is it painful when you don’t get those things? You’re probably performing.
If you’re experiencing, on the other hand, you’re exploring what something feels like. You are trying to see what would happen if. . . . When you’re experiencing, you can appreciate negative outcomes as well as positive ones. Sure, acceptance and approval and accolades feel good, but those things don’t determine success. Success is based on whether you fully immerse yourself in the experience, no matter how it turns out, and whether you learn from it. That kind of success can always be achieved regardless of how others respond.
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