How to Blow It with a Billionaire

He turned onto his side, pulled open the bedside drawer, and froze. “Good God. What’s all this?”

“Just your standard, everyday, perfectly average collection of sex toys.”

“I wouldn’t call this average, Arden. I would call it expansive. I mean—”

I glanced at what he was brandishing and shrugged. “Everyone needs a Fleshlight.”

“And a vibrating cock ring?”

“Hell yes.”

“What about…actually, I have no idea what this is.”

“It’s a guybrator. And that’s a prostate massager. And that’s a subtly but significantly different prostate massager. That one’s a very basic dildo.”

“And this?”

“A dildo in the shape of a tentacle. Obviously.”

He covered his eyes with a hand. “I don’t know what to say.”

“How about: I respect your commitment to self-pleasure.”

“This is quite the commitment.”