needed to feel… what it was like. My whole body, my whole being craved it. So I went. It was as if I was watching myself. There were men… there was this one man and he… I didn’t know him. He didn’t know me. We barely talked. Just a word. We didn’t even really look at each other. And then… then it was as if I wasn’t quite there. It was over in a couple of minutes. But it was as if I wasn’t really myself. As if I was watching. Like a bystander. A witness. I can’t describe it.