The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Social Anxiety and Shyness

in a way that really matters to you.

That allowed him enough space to realize that his fused mind was directing him away from his value of being in a loving relationship.

consider contacting Kristina for a date, his mind was flooded with thoughts of being unlovable, which caused him to avoid following through with a call or e-mail. When he asked himself, How are these thoughts working for me? he was met with a resounding Not a damned bit!

Hello, Mind-Reading Randy; Thanks for showing up, “Shoulding” Shirley; Interesting comments, Negative Nelly.

He found that this enabled him to get out of his mind and refocus on his task. Defused from his unhelpful thought

also refer to this way of relating to feelings and thoughts as acceptance, defined as opening up to and allowing your experience to be exactly as it is, without trying to avoid it, escape it, or change it.

In the same vein, staying present to your direct experience of social situations can give you opportunities to really “know” them and to base your opinions (and actions) on that knowledge, not on what your mind tells you about the situation.

No matter how often your attention is drawn to potential social danger in those situations, you will always have the choice to redirect your focus to your valued goals.

In those situations, you will practice staying focused, on purpose, on what really matters.

the remaining chapters, you will have opportunities to practice bringing intentional focus to bodily sensations, feelings, thoughts, and, lastly, your feared social situations