Is Your Boss Mad?

the way he is managing you is not as good as it could be, that it’s not the best way to motivate you, and it’s making you very unhappy.

Keep the questions going over time, building them till you could ask, “Why did they make you boss? Have you ever had any training?” and get a reasoned answer. Your end goal is to tell him that

If he wants you to like him, let him earn it

Don’t fall into the trap of being too friendly again too quickly.

Your boss in ‘I need to feel included and liked’ mode has his reactive, aggressive button switched to ‘off’. He is feeling pretty ‘self-congratulatory’ at that moment, he has convinced himself that not only is he a great boss, but he can still be part of and liked by the team!

In this mindset he makes a U-turn, feeling he must remind you of his position as the boss! That is why he can one minute be treating you like his best mate and then suddenly become cool and unfriendly.

Pandering to his need to feel liked and included does not demonstrate your changed behaviour. All it does is keep his game going.

the jokes. You believe you are getting to know him better …

Bosses with the classic Friend Then Foe Then Friend Again boss profile do have windows of time when they are extremely friendly and pleasant. This is the problem: you are never quite sure which way they will flip. So you need to use these windows to your advantage. The temptation is to be very friendly in return. It’s such a relief to bathe in the sunshine of his friendliness. You are momentarily relaxed and laugh at

that he does not recognise the value of learning about how to manage or lead a team.