Various

Best Short Stories

    hannahmk66has quoted5 months ago
    LIFE'S ETERNAL QUERY
    Did it ever occur to you that a man's life is full of cussedness? He comes into the world without his consent, and goes out against his will, and the trip between is exceedingly rocky.

    When he is little, the big girls kiss him; when he is big, the little girls kiss him. If he is poor, he is a bad manager; if he is rich, he's a crook. If he is prosperous, everybody wants to do him a favor; if he needs credit, they hand him a lemon.

    If he is in politics, it is for graft; if out of politics, he is no good to his country. If he doesn't give to charity, he's a tightwad; if he does, it's for show. If he is actively religious, he is a hypocrite; and if he takes no interest in religion, he is a heathen.

    If he is affectionate, he is a soft mark; if he cares for no one, he is cold-blooded. If he dies young, there was a great future for him; if he lives to an old age, he missed his calling.

    If you don't fight, you're yellow; if you do, you're a brute.

    If you save your money, you're a grouch; if you spend it, you're a loafer; if you get it, you're a grafter, and if you don't get it, you're a bum.

    So what's the use?
    Нелли Синявинаhas quoted9 months ago
    THE POINT OF HONOR
    Patinya Boonnanhas quotedlast year
    GREAT RELIEF IN HEAVEN
    Patinya Boonnanhas quotedlast year
    HE WAS BROAD MINDED
    Patinya Boonnanhas quotedlast year
    Vell, you pay me four tollars a veek—'
    Laís de Araújohas quotedlast year
    Or intimate acquaintance with certain phases of life gives us a subtler appreciation of certain niceties, which would be lost upon those who have not traveled over that particular path.
    Khaa Liidhas quotedlast year
    the most discriminating critics
    Ирина Осипенкоhas quoted2 years ago
    "The motive of the mithcreant doubtleth wath revenge for thome thuppothed inthult.

    "It thall never be thaid that the petty thpite of any thmall-thouled villain hath dithabled the Newth, and if thith meet the eye of the detethtable rathcal, we beg to athure him that he underethtimated the rethourceth of a firtht-clath newthpaper when he thinkth he can cripple it hopelethly by breaking into the alphabet. We take occathion to thay to him furthermore that before next Thurthday we thall have three timeth ath many etheth ath he thtole.

    "We have reathon to thuthpect that we know the cowardly thkunk who committed thith act of vandalithm, and if he ith ever theen prowling about thith ethtablithment again, by day or by night, nothing will give uth more thatithfaction than to thoot hith hide full of holeth."
    Thùy Trân Trầnhas quoted2 years ago
    wade like blazes!
    bakhtiyarhas quoted2 years ago
    A young lieutenant was passed by a private, who failed to salute. The lieutenant called him back, and said sternly:

    "You did not salute me. For this you will immediately salute two hundred times."

    At this moment the General came up.

    "What's all this?" he exclaimed, seeing the poor private about to begin.

    The lieutenant explained.

    "This ignoramus failed to salute me, and as a punishment, I am making him salute two hundred times."

    "Quite right," replied the General, smiling. "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute in return."
    b3751917049has quoted2 years ago
    Quite right," replied the General, smiling. "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute in return."
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