David Bret

Rudolph Valentino's Moose: The Nancy Sphinctergritzel Story: An Illustrated Irreverent Spoof About the World's Most Infamous Lush

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“The Queen of Homophobes” (1904–2010) was the illegitimate daughter of a parson’s wife and an Indian brave. Leaving her shack she arrived in Hollywood and starred in a film with Mary Pickford. Seven times married she loved one man—Valentino—though he denied knowing her. After his death she began a hate campaign to prove he had never loved other men, or any woman but her. She helped set up Confidential magazine, tried to block the Kinsey Report, joined the McCarthy witch-hunt. For 68 years she worked on My Life With Rudy, the greatest literary failure of all time. She wed for the last time at 99 to a man 80 years her junior who predeceased her. She died at 105 on the anniversary of her imaginary lover’s death—after a tragic sexual accident.
Author’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental.
WARNING: contains adult content of a sexual nature.
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71 printed pages



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