Amy Chua

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

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Sanzhar Surshanovhas quoted6 years ago
The most hits were for a list of the “10 Brightest Dogs,” produced by Dr. Stanley Coren, a neuropsychologist at the University of British Columbia
Alifatush Shabrinahas quoted2 years ago
To be honest, I sometimes wonder if the question “Who are you really doing this for?” should be asked of Western parents too. Sometimes I wake up in the morning dreading what I have to do and thinking how easy it would be to say, “Sure Lulu, we can skip a day of violin practice.” Unlike my Western friends, I can never say, “As much as it kills me, I just have to let my kids make their choices and follow their hearts. It’s the hardest thing in the world, but I’m doing my best to hold back.” Then they get to have a glass of wine and go to a yoga class, whereas I have to stay home and scream and have my kids hate me.
Alifatush Shabrinahas quoted2 years ago
On the other hand, Florence was right. The kids were definitely mad at me. But as a Chinese mother, I put that out of my head.
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
I often wonder what the lesson of her illness is. Given that life is so short and so fragile, surely each of us should be trying to get the most out of every breath, every fleeting moment. But what does it mean to live life to its fullest?
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
was still a teacher, an authority figure, and one of first things Chinese people learn is that you must respect authority. No matter what, you don’t talk back to your parents, teachers, elders.
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
I find this a very Western question to ask (because in Chinese thinking, the child is the extension of the self).
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
Performing isn’t easy—in fact, it’s heartbreaking. You spend months, maybe years, mastering a piece; you become a part of it, and it becomes a part of you. Playing for an audience is like giving blood; it leaves you feeling empty and a bit light-headed. And when it’s all over, your piece just isn’t yours anymore
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
Chinese parenting does not address happiness.
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
For Chinese people, when it comes to parents, nothing is negotiable. Your parents are your parents, you owe everything to them (even if you don’t), and you have to do everything for them (even if it destroys your life).
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children’s own desires and preferences.
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear, but it’s probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and done so much for their children. (And it’s true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating, and spying on their kids.)
Anel Kulakhmetovahas quoted4 years ago
In Chinese culture, it just wouldn’t occur to children to question, disobey, or talk back to their parents.
Zauresh Amanzholovahas quoted5 years ago
Western children are definitely no happier than Chinese ones.
Zauresh Amanzholovahas quoted5 years ago
By contrast, I can’t tell you how many Asian kids I’ve met who, while acknowledging how oppressively strict and brutally demanding their parents were, happily describe themselves as devoted to their parents and unbelievably grateful to them, seemingly without a trace of bitterness or resentment.
Zauresh Amanzholovahas quoted5 years ago
sometimes being carefree means being careless
Zauresh Amanzholovahas quoted5 years ago
Maxine Hong Kingston, Amy Tan, and Jung Chang all beat me to it with their books The Woman Warrior, The Joy Luck Club, and Wild Swans.
Zauresh Amanzholovahas quoted5 years ago
Western parents worry a lot about their children’s self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child’s self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there’s nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn’t.
Zauresh Amanzholovahas quoted5 years ago
know a lot of non-Chinese parents—usually from Korea, India, or Pakistan—who have a very similar mind-set, so it may be an immigrant thing. Or maybe it’s the combination of being an immigrant and being from certain cultures.
Александра Томашевскаяhas quoted5 years ago
goal as a parent is to prepare you for the future—not to make you like me.”
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