Mack Daddy

Don’t worry. Karma is a bigger bitch than that cunt ever could be.”

a rerun of Friends, the one where Phoebe found a human thumb floating around in her can of soda.

You’re telling me. I don’t like it very much, but being alone is better than living with someone who makes you unhappy.

Don’t be. No regrets. That’s what it’s all about, living with no regrets.

The blue is my own personal badge of honor that I’ve basically stamped on you, Frankie.”

“What?”

“I’ve done everything I thought I was supposed to be doing when it comes to you. I’ve been fighting everything that feels natural for a very long time. So, there really is something to that mind over matter mantra. But what they don’t factor in is what happens when you lose your mind. I’m pretty sure I’ve just about lost mine. I’ve been trying to do the right thing, but it’s fucking hard. And I realized last night that I don’t want to go against what feels natural anymore.” He placed both of his hands around my cheeks. “What would you think about my coming back sooner than the end of the summer, but staying for good?”

How so?”

“The book said that the blue one also represents mind over matter, in particular, the spirit’s control over one’s physical senses or compulsions—which heightens one’s spirituality by overcoming bodily temptations.”

I reluctantly turned my head around to look in the mirror. My mouth curved into a smile upon the sight of a beautiful blue flower about the size of a golf ball. It was better than anything I would have chosen for myself.

“It’s beautiful. What kind of flower is that?”

“It’s a lotus flower.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it. I just didn’t know what it was called. What made you pick this for me?”

“Well, that book I was reading said the lotus is a flower that’s born from murky, slimy waters.”

I raised my brows. “The slimy part reminded you of me?”

“No. Basically, the flower is considered pure because of its ability to emerge from the dark waters in the morning perfectly unscathed. What reminded me of you is the fact that from this murky water a beautiful blossom was made. You used to tell me you felt like a part of you just came from a black hole because of your father. And I know you walk around every day feeling like a part of you is missing. But whether or not you realize it, you’re a light to those who know you—to me. Just like the lotus, you’ve risen above the darkness to become something beautiful—a beautiful human.”

It was her.

It had always been her.

Because in all of the time I’ve known you, you’ve never said or done anything intentionally hurtful to me. I don’t think you would randomly start tonight. You come across as a tough guy at first, but, in reality, you’re very considerate and protective. You care about my happiness. And I think you know branding me with a hairy ass would not make me happy.”

“If you do determine that I’m the one, I’ve decided that I want to go all in. Because there is no halfway with how I feel about you, my love. And I’m not sure I realized it until losing you became a very real threat. I want to marry you. I want to have babies with you. I want to love you for the rest of my life and do nothing but make you happy. You just need to decide which road you want to take. If the journey is with me, I promise, you won’t regret it.”