Vivek Shraya

I'm Afraid of Men

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    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    Might you then free me at last of my fear, and of your own?
    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    Consider how often you have dismissed your own appearance, behaviours, emotions, and aspirations for being too feminine or masculine.
    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    It’s not enough to let go of the misplaced hope for a good or a better man. It’s not enough to honour femininity. Both of these options might offer a momentary respite from the dangers of masculinity, but in the end they only perpetuate a binary and the pressure that bears down when we live at different ends of the spectrum.
    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    I’m especially afraid of women because my history has taught me that I can’t fully rely upon other women for sisterhood, or allyship, or protection from men.
    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    I wish that instead of the coaching I received to take up space, I had been taught to be respectful of space.
    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    the return of the goddess, the displacement of god as a man, and the establishment of god as a woman. It’s about the return of women’s dominion to women; I think “man” deserves to be put in his place.
    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    Whether it’s through an emphasis on being large and muscular, or asserting power by an extended or intimidating stride on sidewalks, being loud in bars, manspreading on public transit, or enacting harm or violence on others, taking up space is a form of misogyny because so often the space that men try to seize and dominate belongs to women and gender-nonconforming people.
    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    Just as those who exhibit racist tendencies wouldn’t classify themselves as racist, few men would admit to hating women or believe they hate women.
    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    It is this low bar that also renders the experiences I’ve shared unexceptional and therefore so often unnoticed. Sexist comments, intimidation, groping, violating boundaries, and aggression are seen as merely “typical” for men. But “typical” is dangerously interchangeable with “acceptable.” “Boys will be boys,” after all.
    mermaidhas quotedlast year
    good is a nebulous standard, and our desire for something that can’t really be measured outside of religious teachings and morality only sets us up for disappointment, and sets up every gender for failure.
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