Esther Perel

Mating in Captivity

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    UGLYPUPhas quoted5 years ago
    Wild things in captivity
    while they keep their own wild purity
    won’t breed, they mope, they die.
    All men are in captivity,
    active with captive activity,
    Ana Laurahas quoted6 months ago
    Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source.
    —Anaïs Nin
    Vivian Salazarhas quotedlast year
    we need to honor and recognize the many ways we can reach out and touch someone.
    Vivian Salazarhas quotedlast year
    When we privilege speech and underplay the body, we collude in keeping women confined.
    Vivian Salazarhas quotedlast year
    When the impulse to share becomes obligatory, when personal boundaries are no longer respected, when only the shared space of togetherness is acknowledged and private space is denied, fusion replaces intimacy and possession co-opts love.
    Vivian Salazarhas quotedlast year
    Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery.
    Vivian Salazarhas quotedlast year
    e want closeness, but not so much that we feel trapped by it.
    Vivian Salazarhas quotedlast year
    psychologist Michael Vincent Miller reminds us that this struggle is vividly represented in children’s nightmares: “the abandonment dreams of falling or being lost, and the engulfment dreams of being attacked or devoured by monsters.” We come to our adult relationships with an emotional memory box ready to be activated. The extent to which our childhood relationships nurture or obstruct both sets of needs will determine the vulnerabilities that we bring into our adult relationships
    Vivian Salazarhas quotedlast year
    Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy.
    Vivian Salazarhas quotedlast year
    t is too easily assumed that problems with sex are the result of a lack of closeness. But my point is that perhaps the way we construct closeness reduces the sense of freedom and autonomy needed for sexual pleasure
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