When Mr Dog Bites

That’s what I want to be when I grow up – caring and gentle,’ I said, because that’s what all good men should be like.

I was a bit scared in case she told me things that I didn’t want to hear.

October’s leaves were yellowy red and scattered all over the ground making my front garden look like one massive pizza.

the nights when she’d been on one of her booze cruises she’d slobber all over my face like a big St Bernard dog who’d just discovered me in some manky crevasse deep in Swiss mountain territory

Cool Things To Do Before I Cack It