David Sedaris

Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls

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  • Сеня Лопухинhas quoted11 years ago
    In his work shirt and underpants, he looked powerful but also cartoonish, like a bear dressed up for a job interview.
  • Сеня Лопухинhas quoted11 years ago
    I always told myself that when I hit fifty I was going to discover opera, not just casually but full force: studying the composers, learning Italian, maybe even buying a cape
  • Сеня Лопухинhas quoted11 years ago
    “Listen,” I’d like to say, “I’m not a parent myself, but I think the best solution at this point is to slap that child across the face. It won’t stop its crying, but at least now it’ll be doing it for a good reason.”
  • Сеня Лопухинhas quoted11 years ago
    I have a friend whose seven-year-old will only consider something if it’s white. Had I tried that, my parents would have said, “You’re on,” and served me a bowl of paste, followed by joint compound, and, maybe if I was good, some semen.
  • Сеня Лопухинhas quoted11 years ago
    I’ve gone from avoiding dentists and periodontists to practically stalking them, not in some quest for a Hollywood smile but because I enjoy their company.
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