Don't Stop Dreaming

My life journey seemed like I could never catch a break. In my mind, I was a true hustler, unskilled at anything, untrustworthy. I considered myself a smart-aleck and clever enough to live by my wits seeking any prey that presented itself. I would risk just about any and everything. I did not realize that I was walking around with an invisible backpack full of traumatic experiences. I have always been self aware but my self identity was too low and thinking about who I am in the midst of chaos was burdensome and I would avert my thinking somewhere else in an effort to escape, so I would generalized my identity to a group instead of personal. I believed some of the negative traits people would use to describe me like a criminal and my ability was obsolete unless someone says to me, I believe you. I just wanted to belong somewhere but no one would take the time to see me, hear me, or feel me. I had no sense of affirmation coming from nowhere except from my younger brother. I truly believe as humans we have to embrace our emotions even if we are not quite sure where they are coming from. So many of us have been trained to dissemble and concealed our real thoughts and emotions, in an effort to survive. Life pushed me to identify that one powerful spark within me and without it, I would have succumb to all of the negative name calling after all, I came to realize at an earlier age that people are quick to give information but slow to give affirmation. As a child from a marginalized neighborhood, I needed affirmation and not information. I held on to what I describe as my spark, which was the ability to dream dreams as it became my source of affirmation. God knew my worth while I was in my mother's womb and God knew that I would be marginalized by society and my family. Everyone has a spark within them. Unfortunately, so many people cannot recognize it because life has knocked them down so many times. I have a profound respect for my past, it has taught me many life lessons, most importantly, I am the expert of myself and the relationship I have with my past cannot be the same as my future. I am thankful to God's wisdom as I dream dreams about the life I am destined to live. A life of purpose, pursuing a calm heart with an uncluttered mind. Don't allow life circumstances to diffuse it, keep dreaming until your dreams become your reality. It's about creating a new meaning, forgiving yourself for all of the things that transpired in the past by doing so, we can find so many “golden nuggets” that would transform our lives.