Water by the Spoonful

Scene Two

Odessa’s living room and kitchen. She makes coffee. She goes over to her computer, clicks a button. On a screen we see:

HAIKUMOM, SITEADMIN

STATUS: ONLINE

HAIKUMOM: Rise and shine, kiddos, the rooster’s a-crowin’, it’s a beautiful day to be sober. (No response) Your Thursday morning haiku:

if you get restless

buy a hydrangea or rose

water it, wait, bloom

(Odessa continues making coffee. A computer dings and on another screen we see:)

ORANGUTAN

STATUS: ONLINE

ORANGUTAN: Ninety-one days. Smiley face.

HAIKUMOM (Relieved): Orangutan! Jesus, I thought my primate friend had disappeared back to the jungle.

ORANGUTAN: Disappeared? Yes. Jungle? Happily, no.

HAIKUMOM: I’m trying to put a high-five emoticon, but my computer is being a capital B. So, high-five!

(They high-five in the air. Another computer screen lights up:)

CHUTES&LADDERS

STATUS: ONLINE

CHUTES&LADDERS: Orangutan? I was about to send a search party after your rear end. Kid, log on. No news is bad news.

ORANGUTAN: Chutes&Ladders, giving me a hard time as usual. I’d expect nothing less.

CHUTES&LADDERS: Your last post says: “Day One. Packing bags, gotta run,” and then you don’t log on for three months?

ORANGUTAN: I was going to Japan, I had to figure out what shoes to bring.

HAIKUMOM: The country?

CHUTES&LADDERS: What happened to Maine?

ORANGUTAN: And I quote, “Get a hobby, find a new job, an exciting city, go teach English in a foreign country.” Did you guys think I wouldn’t take your seasoned advice? I was batting 0 for ten, and for the first time, guys, I feel fucking free.

HAIKUMOM (Nonjudgmental): Censored.

ORANGUTAN: I wake up and I think, What’s the world got up its sleeve today? And I look forward to the answer. So, thank you.

CHUTES&LADDERS: We told you so.

ORANGUTAN (Playful): Shut up.

HAIKUMOM: You’re welcome.

ORANGUTAN: I gave my parents the URL. My username, my password. They logged on and read every post I’ve ever put on here and for once they said they understood. They had completely cut me off, but after reading this site they bought me the plane ticket. One way. I teach English in the mornings. I have a class of children, a class of teens, and a class of adults, most of whom are older than me. I am free in the afternoons. I have a paycheck which I use for legal things like ice cream, noodles and socks. I walk around feeling like maybe I am normal. Maybe, just possibly, I’m not that different. Or maybe it’s just homeland delusions.

AMAN: Yazmin, forgive me. You must be . . .

ELLIOT: Elliot Ortiz. Nice to meet you, I appreciate it.

AMAN: Professor Aman. (They shake) We’ll have to make this short and sweet, my lecture begins . . . began . . . well, talk fast.

ELLIOT: Yaz, give us a second?

YAZ: I’ll be in the car. (Exits)

ELLIOT: I’m late, too, so . . .

AMAN: You need something translated.

ELLIOT: Just a phrase. Thanks, man.

AMAN: Eh, your sister’s cute.

ELLIOT: Cousin. I wrote it phonetically. You grow up speaking Arabic?

AMAN: English. What’s your native tongue?

ELLIOT: Spanglish. (Hands Aman a piece of paper)

AMAN: Mom-ken men fad-luck ted-dini ga-waz saf-far-i. Mom-ken men-fadluck ted-dini gawaz saffari. Am I saying that right?

ELLIOT (Spooked): Spot on.

AMAN: You must have some familiarity with Arabic to remember it so clearly.

ELLIOT: Maybe I heard it on TV or something.

AMAN: An odd phrase.

ELLIOT: It’s like a song I can’t get out of my head.

AMAN: Yazmin didn’t tell me what this is for.