Discovering the Inner Mother

Patriarchy has demanded that women be small and give away our power in exchange for external approval.

My sense is that the true gift of the pain of being unseen is having no choice but to find and claim one’s worth within oneself first, without getting the approval or validation of others

For many of us, growing up involved a series of self-betrayals in which we had no choice but to create an inner split in order to survive. The split usually involved some form of numbing our feelings and rejecting ourselves in order to be accepted by our families.

Learning that I could survive my mother’s rejection of me gave me an increasing ability to recognize and speak out against toxicity whenever I saw it. And

Her opinions do not have to dictate your reality. Let her have her own experience without rushing in to explain or emotionally take care of her; this is a form of respect for her and for yourself

Thankfully, each time, I managed to remind myself that I had already tried to explain it over and over again, and it had never worked

Part of me was thrilled and proud of myself for standing up to my mother and setting strong boundaries with my family members

The fear of being seen as a “bad daughter” in pursuit of our own healing can be one of our greatest obstacles at the gate of our power, preventing us from accessing the many gifts and powerful transformation that lie within the pain of the Mother Wound

You may discover something deeply profound that many people never do: you can survive your mother’s rejection

And you don’t owe people an apology or explanation for doing what’s right for you. This is a form of claiming your personal power, a form of self-love