The Diary of Ma Yan

My stomach is all twisted up with hunger, but I don’t want to spend that yuan on anything so frivolous as food. Because it’s money my parents earned with their sweat and blood.

extra spoonful of vegetables, usually potatoes

Even if I finance your studies, what will you be able to do? It would be better if you died right away. Every day I hope that you’re going to die. If you die, I’ll bury you under a bit of earth and at least I’ll be at peace for a few days.

In these times even beggars need degrees. Nothing works for you if you don’t study. In the big cities, even going to the toilet requires being able to read.

To pay for the ballpoint pen she used, we later learned, she had deprived herself of food for fifteen days.