Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Change begins with the person who wants the change.

’s important to remember that slipping into Judger is just part of being human, especially when things aren’t going well. In this respect, we’re all recovering Judgers. No doubt about it, our Judger nature can be a bit addictive. We can’t ever get rid of Judger, but we can learn to manage it. Awareness, commitment, and courage — with a dash of humor — that’s what it takes to keep bringing ourselves back to Learner.

Judger is always judgmental. What’s more, Judger has two faces — either we’re being judgmental about ourselves or about other people.”

With Judger mindset, the future can only be a recycled version of the past.

What a difference! I like it.”

“What are some words you’d use to describe this second experience?”

“Open,” I said. “Lighter. Upbeat. Curious. More energy. Optimistic. A little hopeful … maybe there are solutions to my problems after all.”

“Good! Good,” Joseph reiterated. “These feelings signal that you’ve taken yourself into Learner mindset.”

No one can help anyone else from a Judger place.”

one can help anyone else from a Judger place.”

No one can help anyone

Change your questions, change your thinking. If you change your thinking, you can change almost anything else. You step into your observer self and become neutral and open-minded. If only for a second, you become an observer watching a movie of your life. You learn to simply notice whatever moods, thoughts, and behaviors are going on, without adding any layers of interpretation or judgment

Where am I right now? What’s present? Am I in Judger or Learner? After all, if we can’t observe our own thinking, how can we manage it, and if we can’t manage our own thinking, how can we truly manage anything else?

Real choice begins when we can be mindful enough to observe our own thoughts and feelings and the language we use to express them.