Mothering Our Boys (US Edition)

This is why a son benefits from having a mean and loving mom — in a type of balance! If

responsive, reciprocal, respectful care

Rubinstein describes the difference in these psychologies as:

Please use the words ‘dead’ and ‘died’ to your little children, especially your boys

When a son finally leaves his boyhood behind, hopefully some time in his 20s or even later when his prefrontal lobe finally grows, it is advisable that he walks out of his mother’s home with both his testicles intact — metaphorically speaking. I have worked with many men who feel their mother has one testicle and their wife has the other and that he can never please either.

you are unable to delay having your boy in long day care then try to choose an environment that values building relationships over educating your child. What works best is when a little boy can have one educator as his primary caregiver — someone who will be a substitute mother for him. For some, this may be family day care. Also, aim to minimize the time he is spending there when he’s under three. If your son’s secondary attachment needs are met and the educators are aware of the unique differences between girls and boys and they respect this, the chances are good that your little