Thordis Elva,Tom Stranger

South of Forgiveness

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One ordinary spring morning in Reykjavik, Iceland, Thordis Elva kisses her son and partner goodbye before boarding a plane to do a remarkable thing: fly seven thousand miles to South Africa to confront the man who raped her when she was just sixteen. Meanwhile, in Sydney, Australia, Tom Stranger nervously embarks on an equally life-changing journey to meet Thordis, wondering whether he is worthy of this milestone.

After exchanging hundreds of searingly honest emails over eight years, Thordis and Tom decided it was time to speak face to face. Coming from opposite sides of the globe, they meet in the middle, in Cape Town, South Africa, a country that is no stranger to violence and the healing power of forgiveness.

South of Forgiveness is an unprecedented collaboration between a survivor and a perpetrator, each equally committed to exploring the darkest moment of their lives. It is a true story about being bent but not broken, facing fear with courage, and finding hope even in the most wounded of places. Personable, accessible, and compelling, South of Forgiveness is an intense and refreshing look at a gendered violence, rape culture, personal responsibility, and the effect that patriarchal cultures have on both men and women.
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313 printed pages
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Impressions

  • ;shared an impression7 years ago
    🔮Hidden Depths
    💡Learnt A Lot
    🎯Worthwhile

    "People need a three-dimensional view of those who perpetrate it, not two-dimensional stereotypes that either vilify the perpetrators as ‘monsters’ or glorify them to the point where their crimes become unthinkable."

    This book provides a journey of Thordis and Tom's in a strange city halfway between Reykjavík and Sydney and all the healing wonders they've experienced. I learned a lot from this book, not only about forgiveness and the contentment that follows, but also about rape and patriarchy in general as well as ones that happen/happened in South Africa. Such a beautiful book with so many lessons learned. Highly recommended!

Quotes

  • ;has quoted7 years ago
    the tree of life in the paradise of Kirstenbosch was planted there in the winter of 1996, when Tom and I first met.
  • ;has quoted7 years ago
    Now I was teary and on the verge of bursting into laughter. I imagined the credits smoothly appearing at the bottom of the screen.
  • ;has quoted7 years ago
    I refrained from turning around. I wanted to honor how complete we have made it all, and nothing felt left to be done. It did feel good to be moving forward.

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