This book offers a swift trek through two millennia of Christendom, with all the information provided by boring textbooks. The author presents the Christian story within the framework of a warning of Jesus in his famous Sermon on the Mount: You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt becomes dumb, with what shall one salt? (Matt 5:13). The story is told with wit, spiked by satire and a gallows humor. There are three chapters (symbolizing the Trinity), each encompassing seven centuries (symbolizing the seven days of creation), with four parts in each chapter (symbolizing the four Gospels). Chapter headings and subtitles are eye-catchers, such as Edifice Complex for the Middle Ages with its zeal for architectural and sacramental edification. Idiosyncratic features are highlighted, like the pillar saints, monks who spent their lives on pillars in the desert; castrated believers, who experienced the procedure as a refinement of penance; and competing popes, who succumbed to secular pleasures. Word plays, the wisdom of proverbs, and dumb Christian ways prevent readers from getting bored. A witty preface and a serious epilogue provide food for new insights.