Elena Ferrante

The Troubling Love

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    silviaa98has quoted6 months ago
    The irony of the lines that connect moments to meetings, to separations, to old rancors
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    sheets and blankets had been mended with a care that, given their age, they didn’t deserve.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    As I passed the mirror I smiled involuntarily, to calm myself.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    Amalia, who had always dressed shabbily because she was poor but also because she was in the habit of not making herself attractive—a habit acquired many decades earlier to placate the jealousy of my father—seemed to have suddenly decided to get rid of her entire wardrobe.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    I closed my eyes to give her time to detach herself from the ceiling and return to death; then I reopened them and looked at the clock.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    “I’m Delia,” I answered. “What is on the top floor? What do you have of hers?”
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    Maybe I wanted to try to establish an intimacy that there had never been, maybe I wanted to let her know in some confused way that I had always been unhappy.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    But she seemed to me only amused by the fact that I had sat suspended in the void, in a dilapidated elevator.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    Have you ever, in all these years, had a man?” I had then asked her, point-blank.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    She had in fact done so: she never said no to me.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    Alone in the car, I had felt a peaceful pleasure.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    Now I was there and trying to quickly cancel out the memory of that echo.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    She was fat and suspicious, and had a big mole on her right cheek that was inhabited by two long gray whiskers.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    I invited her again to enter, hoping that she would keep me company with her chatter.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    She refused firmly, with a shudder, and her eyes filled with tears.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    “Why was she happy?” I asked.
    She hesitated again and then made up her mind.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    Houses don’t have ghosts, but they contain the effects of life’s final gestures.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    At most we would, from time to time, exchange phone calls, to measure the increasing rate of mutual estrangement.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    Now that she was dead and I could eliminate it forever, along with the memory that it conveyed, hearing it provoked anxiety.
    Menna Abu Zahrahas quotedlast year
    For years we had all three lived in different cities, each with our own life and a past in common that we didn’t like.
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