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Jerome Klapka Jerome

THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW

    paprimampibanerj3has quoted7 years ago
    Some people are too much the other way. I knew a fellow once whose natural tendency to laugh at everything was so strong that if you wanted to talk seriously to him, you had to explain beforehand that what you were going to say would not be amusing. Unless you got him to clearly understand this, he would go off into fits of merriment over every word you uttered. I have known him on being asked the time stop short in the middle of the road, slap his leg, and burst into a roar of laughter. One never dared say anything really funny to that man. A good joke would have killed him on the spot.
    Tatiana Chabaniukhas quoted3 years ago
    This book wouldn’t elevate a cow. I cannot conscientiously recommend it for any useful purposes whatever. All I can suggest is that when you get tired of reading "the best hundred books," you may take this up for half an hour. It will be a change
    Juliette Akimenkohas quoted5 years ago
    Nowadays we light a pipe and let the girls fight it out among themselves.
    They do it very well. They are getting to do all our work. They are doctors, and barristers, and artists. They manage theaters, and promote swindles, and edit newspapers. I am looking forward to the time when we men shall have nothing to do but lie in bed till twelve, read two novels a day, have nice little five–o’clock teas all to ourselves, and tax our brains with nothing more trying than discussions upon the latest patterns in trousers and arguments as to what Mr. Jones' coat was made of and whether it fitted him. It is a glorious prospect—for idle fellows.
    Said Sadikhovhas quoted6 years ago
    What was it to her that her husband was a great philosopher? Great philosophy don't count in married life.
    b6361114823has quoted9 months ago
    There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one. Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.
    b6361114823has quoted9 months ago
    There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do.
    Juliette Akimenkohas quoted5 years ago
    The proverbial Englishman, we know from old chronicler Froissart, takes his pleasures sadly, and the Englishwoman goes a step further and takes her pleasures in sadness itself.
    Juliette Akimenkohas quoted5 years ago
    Tears are as sweet as laughter to some natures.
    Juliette Akimenkohas quoted5 years ago
    Bed–time at last comes, to save you from doing something rash, and you spring upstairs, throw off your clothes, leaving them strewn all over the room, blow out the candle, and jump into bed as if you had backed yourself for a heavy wager to do the whole thing against time.
    Juliette Akimenkohas quoted5 years ago
    And oh, how beautiful she was, how wondrous beautiful! It was as some angel entering the room, and all else became plain and earthly. She was too sacred to be touched. It seemed almost presumption to gaze at her. You would as soon have thought of kissing her as of singing comic songs in a cathedral.
    Juliette Akimenkohas quoted5 years ago
    You’ve been in love, of course! If not you’ve got it to come. Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
    Juliette Akimenkohas quoted5 years ago
    Look here, if A broke B’s head, then A’s girl was a pretty girl; but if B broke A’s head, then A’s girl wasn’t a pretty girl, but B’s girl was. That was their method of conducting art criticism.
    Said Sadikhovhas quoted6 years ago
    Lies and cunning and disbelief have crept into our hearts since those preshaving days--and we meant to be so great and good.
    Said Sadikhovhas quoted6 years ago
    I have no wish to remember everything. There are many things in most men's lives that had better be forgotten. There is that time, many years ago, when we did not act quite as honorably, quite as uprightly, as we perhaps should have done--that unfortunate deviation from the path of strict probity we once committed, and in which, more unfortunate still, we were found out--that act of folly, of meanness, of wrong. Ah, well! we paid the penalty, suffered the maddening hours of vain remorse, the hot agony of shame, the scorn, perhaps, of those we loved. Let us forget.
    Said Sadikhovhas quoted6 years ago
    It is this glamour of the past, I suppose, that makes old folk talk so much nonsense about the days when they were young. The world appears to have been a very superior sort of place then, and things were more like what they ought to be. Boys were boys then, and girls were very different. Also winters were something like winters, and summers not at all the wretched-things we get put off with nowadays. As for the wonderful deeds people did in those times and the extraordinary events that happened, it takes three strong men to believe half of them.
    Said Sadikhovhas quoted6 years ago
    A good many great men have lived in attics and some have died there. Attics, says the dictionary, are "places where lumber is stored," and the world has used them to store a good deal of its lumber in at one time or another.
    Said Sadikhovhas quoted6 years ago
    Which reminds me of another phase of the weather that I can't bear, and that is April weather (so called because it always comes in May). Poets think it very nice. As it does not know its own mind five minutes together, they liken it to a woman; and it is supposed to be very charming on that account. I don't appreciate it, myself.
    Said Sadikhovhas quoted6 years ago
    Weather in towns is like a skylark in a counting-house--out of place and in the way. Towns ought to be covered in, warmed by hot-water pipes, and lighted by electricity.
    Said Sadikhovhas quoted6 years ago
    But outsiders, you know, often see most of the game; and sitting in my arbor by the wayside, smoking my hookah of contentment and eating the sweet lotus-leaves of indolence, I can look out musingly upon the whirling throng that rolls and tumbles past me on the great high-road of life.
    Said Sadikhovhas quoted6 years ago
    Why, even animals are vain.
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