How You Always Meant to Parent

When you look at your teens as having the same Holy Spirit in them as you have in you, it changes the way you see them. When you believe the same Holy Spirit is doing a work in them just like He is in you, it changes the way you parent them. It changes the way you do life together. Now you can see him as a person who you want to guard and coach and champion, not simply because he is your son who you are obligated to raise into a responsible adult, but because you know what it takes to make it as a Christ-follower in this world.

You are the only person who plays such a dual relational role in your child’s life. You get to be a parent as well as their brother or sister in Christ. Stop to ponder that for a moment. No one else gets to serve your child in that way. Not their youth pastor, not their best friend,

Yes, God wants to connect with you personally, but for the purpose of showing you how to connect with others. Likewise, Christ wants to love you so He can love through you. With that thought in mind, you can invite your child to be a part of your own spiritual journey. You can be sojourners together.

to your children to help them understand the importance of walking with Christ. As you begin to use these tools with your children at a young age, you will see them grow into the man or woman God created them to be. One day they will walk in your door with a racing heart and newfound confidence to announce, “Guess what God just did?”

through with our parents. On other days, God gives you a window, maybe just a peek, into the mature person your teen is becoming. Hold on to those days and treasure those moments to remind you of the purpose of the journey.

adults are encountering what sociologists are referring to as the death of dating.2 There is no dating anymore, it’s simply “hooking up.” Guys are engrossed in internet pornography and distorted relationships, while girls are obsessed with glamorizing and using their sexuality to manipulate people and circumstances. The result is a collision of inappropriate relating styles that leads to shallow physical encounters without commitment or depth.

with the idea that unless she is in the elite minority, she is not blond enough, tall enough, skinny enough, or buxom enough to win a guy’s attention. But with the right jeans, perfume, hair products, and pout, she can make herself appealing. Or when all else fails, the messages and photos she sends to a guy’s cell phone can make a statement that he cannot ignore. Speaking words of affirmation and protection into your daughter’s mind and heart should come from Dad first. Giving her a healthy dose of insight into “guy world” can ensure that she weeds out the ones who are unwilling to jump through the hoops to win her heart the way she longs for and deserves.

In contrast, the media has shown your daughter that her best characteristic is her sexuality

If you and I have any hope of becoming the parents God intends for us to be, then we must allow Him to do the same work in us—to give us a new heart. We require a daily renewing of His spirit at work in us before we can ever set out to ask God to change our children’s heart